This past weekend was very busy for me. I realized also even more how much I hate sin. I hate that I feel like I can never overcome some sins. There are things I’ve struggled with since I was little, like flirty-ness, pride, wanting to fit in, and being anxious. Believe me, the list goes on. I struggle on a daily basis with many sins, and it weighs my heart down because I know I can never fully please God. on my own.
And yet in that sense, it is beautiful. Because I can’t do it on my own. I need God’s power to overcome sin.. the same power that Jesus Christ had to resurrect from the dead. He conquered death and sin when He said “it is finished”. He FINISHED IT. Do you get that? We can have victory over sin and we can live for Christ. I pray that my dependence on Him grows, knowing that I can’t please Him or obey Him on my own. I want to fall before God everyday and beg Him to help me to live for Him, because my heart so quickly goes astray.
Tonight, at FCA, which is fellowship of Christian athletes, we had a guest speaker named Patrick who really touched my heart. He spoke with honesty about where he’d been: addicted to alcohol, depressed, and living with an eating disorder. He shared the verse Daniel 4:37, which says, “Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise, exalt, and honor the King of Heaven, for all His works are true and His ways just, and He is able to humble those who walk in pride.” That line in the Bible is one that reminds me that God’s Word is a double-edged sword, because it pierces me. God humbles those who walk in pride. It’s what He did for Nebuchadnezzar, Patrick, and I think He is doing that for me. But I’m thankful, because I want to be the follower of Jesus who falls on their face begging God for mercy because they know they have sinned. Like the man in Luke 18:13, “But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating His breast, saying, “God, be merciful to me, the sinner!” I pray that I become that person more and more.
What was really cool about Patrick though was that he reminded us how he is not perfect. He still struggles with depression and he doesn’t have it all together. AND NO ONE DOES. I think sometimes we get so afraid to talk about what we struggle with and ask others to pray for us. But that isn’t what God desires. He desires humility.
I pray that we all grow in that, and we recognize our sinful state before a holy God.
To all my already dedicated fans, I love you.
P.S. If you want to check out Patrick’s ministry for people with eating disorders, type in “I Chose to Live” on Facebook and you’ll find it. 🙂